Michael Savage Changes Name to Michael Weener

By Willie Wonty (Staff Writer)

SAN FRANCISCO - Michael Alan Weiner, better known to his listeners as Michael Savage (Better known? That's just weiner…I mean, weird) legally changed his name in a San Francisco court room this morning to Michael "Weener".

"I just got tired of people trying to figure out how to pronounce my name," said the acerbic tongued Conservative shock jock. "I mean, people would ask me, 'How do you say your name? Do you say it Weener, like the Oscar Meyer way, or is it Whiner, as in whining idiot?' So, I flipped a coin, tossed back a bottle of Two Fingers tequila, and went with Weener."

Judge Roscoe Bleup threw up his hands, perplexed. "Why not just change your name to Savage?" he asked Weiner (before he became Weener). "That's how most people know you."

"Hmmm," replied Weiner in a daze. "I guess I didn't consider that," he said.

Michael Weiner Savage Weener resides in an upscale San Francisco neighborhood. His wife Janet still goes by the name Weiner, but there is speculation she will have that changed to Whiner, as a compliment to her husband's new last name.

"We're getting our names tattooed on our backs," said the little missus. "Weener for him, Whiner for me. It will be cute," she said.